When Splat The Rat Came For Lunch

When Splat, the rat, came for lunch, he insisted his veggies should have a wonderful crunch.

He sniffed with his nose and said, “I can smell eggs, hard boiled is best and served with stale bread.”

Splat skipped to the table and looked all around; the table was empty – Splat started to frown.

He decided that Horace, my blue cockatoo, was fair game for chasing around the front room.

Splat! You naughty rat!

But Horace was clever and flew high in the air just as young Splat jumped into a chair.

A present came down from Horace above and covered poor Splat with green gloopy crud!

Off scampered Splat to freshen up in the bathroom, but someone was lurking and holding a stiff broom.

It was MUM! And she wasn’t best pleased, because rats are disgusting and considered unclean!

Splat! You naughty rat!

Splat flew through the air and Mum shouted “SIX”, which is a word you might hear, on a green cricket pitch!

But what was quite funny and terribly cool was that Splat hollered back, “MUM, you’re awfully cruel.”

A glorious odour wafted out from the kitchen. It was, of course, the smell of roast chicken.

“Coming through!” shouted Splat as he fell onto the table. He skidded along and grabbed the soup ladle.

Splat! You naughty rat!

Well, the chicken and salad and bread did arrive and with Splat at the table nothing survived.

“What I’d like now”, said Splat with a grin “is a tall glass of cola, then I’m off to the bin.”

Splat guzzled the cola and then bid us farewell. It was obviously clear he was feeling unwell.

Splat wobbled along and went out to the garden, “BRRRRRRP...” And yes, I did hear him say “Pardon”.